Sex Therapy in Boston
People in relationships often find themselves on opposite ends of a struggle for love and sex.
Unsure of how to communicate, they fight. Unsure of how to please, they shut down. Unsure of how to love, they check off to-dos on lists hoping their effort will “make it work.” This struggle is timeless and deeply human, but it can be exhausting, bringing with it all of the trauma and powerlessness, anger and resentment, betrayal and pain from previous and current relationships. In Boston, at our office in Back Bay, we help people disrupt the negative patterns that keep them stuck in never ending loops of disconnect and sexlessness.
The struggle looks different in every relationship. We work with people who have never been asked, “What will make the sex worth wanting?” or “What is the role of pleasure in your life?” or “What is sex for? How does it help you learn, love, and restore?” Some have never understood their body’s capacity for erotic desire nor their power to claim it. Some have never attempted to tap into their ability to connect with a look, a kiss, and a dance. In Boston, we work with everyone in any relationship who might love each other but can’t connect, with those who are connected but can’t fuck, and with lovers who need a guide to reach the next level of sex, love, and intimacy.
We are specialists. With a sharp wit, a generous dose of humor, and an ability to intensely focus on core issues, we help people navigate the vast complexity of their relationships and sexual lives to enhance joy, meaning, connection, and, of course, pleasure. Wherever you or your relationship may be, let us join you to create an experience of deep intimacy in order to hear, feel, and respond to yourself, your partner, and your family.
What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy is psychotherapy with a focus on sexuality and its influences on … basically everything. In other words, sex therapy is a specific type of psychotherapy that helps people problem solve sexuality’s complications and/or understand its enhancements to their lives. In Boston, we meet with people in person in our offices in Back Bay, but we also meet via Telehealth with clients located in other places in Massachusetts.
Practically speaking, sex therapy is like every other form of psychotherapy; we talk about the things that are bothering you. There is never any sexual behavior in the room. In Boston, we provide a safe, professional, caring space in which to explore your sexual problems through the healing power of psychotherapy.
There are many styles of sex therapy and even more styles of psychotherapy. Our style is based on our personality, and what we do in the room each time is based on your needs. However, you can expect a few general treatment protocols:
Education
The US is particularly bad at educating human beings about sexuality. Sometimes, sex therapy helps fill in these gaps. We may ask you to read books or watch videos, but mostly we will learn about your sexuality through talking about it.
Awareness building
All psychotherapy helps people increase their awareness and understanding of their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, wants, and needs. We will use all of these things to help us determine the causes of your problems, but we will also use your feelings in session to help you create experiences of healing in session.
Utilizing awareness to create power and, subsequently, choices to change behavior
Once awareness and understanding are achieved, people can feel empowered to make choices about how to change their behavior to decrease suffering and enhance health and pleasure. Sometimes, we will ask you to go home and change your behavior through activities and experiments we design together. In Boston, there is never any sexual behavior in the therapy room, but you may go home and experiment with a few things on your own. You can then report back on how it went.
Experiential learning
All good psychotherapists help create contexts and powerful emotional experiences that help people integrate change and learning. Those experiences are often carefully crafted, and they are always different depending on the individuals in therapy. Examples run the gambit from “homework” to cathartic emotional experiences in the counseling room. These emotional experiences are meant to help clients understand how it feels when they enact the changes we discuss in therapy. Because it is highly effective, these learning experiences are generally the crowning achievement of our work together. The goal is that they will stick with you and help you for years to come.
Integration of learning and solution adherence
Once we’ve got a few changes under your belt, you will continue to practice and experience the changes on your own. Eventually, we may stop regular sessions and move to follow-up sessions every few weeks or few months.
There’s nothing a little pleasure can’t make better.
We can’t wait to get started.
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Dr. Lee Kinsey
FOUNDER
My training and my personal experience has taught me that safety, trust, and the intimacy that follows are important factors in change and healing. And I endeavor to provide the safety, trust, and intimacy that is necessary for others to heal as well - along with a sharp wit, a keen intellect, and a generous dose of humor.
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Ellen Wood
COUNSELOR
Kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold, reminds us that cracks can make us stronger and more beautiful. We all break at times, but those cracks can lead to growth, self-love, and healing. Seeing the gold thread reveals what’s possible. Therapy begins with a safe space to share your cracks.
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Eric Rosin
COUNSELOR
The therapeutic relationship is a unique place where saying and feeling everything is not just allowed but central to our work. I believe that helping people explore themselves deeply is a great responsibility, and I want to help create a space for you to compassionately examine who you are and what you want.