Is EFCT different than traditional couples therapy?

The short answer is … yes.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) actually differs significantly from what might be thought of as traditional couples therapy. EFCT focuses on our emotions as the central driver of conflict and connection.

More traditional approaches in couples therapy - such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or communication-based therapies – typically emphasize improving communication skills and problem-solving techniques. They commonly work to change specific behaviors between partners. While important, EFT works on a slightly deeper level, seeking to understand and shift the emotional patterns underlying these behaviors.

Emotionally Focused Therapy is based on attachment theory. Attachment theory suggests that humans are “wired” for close, supportive relationships and that these relationships create a sense of safety and security. When these bonds feel threatened, partners will often fall into negative patterns of interaction, such as criticism or withdrawal.

EFCT therapists focus on identifying and breaking these patterns by helping relationship partners express their underlying fears and vulnerabilities, rather than addressing surface-level conflicts. As an example, instead of discussing "how to listen better" in a therapy session, an EFCT therapist might want to explore why a partner feels unimportant or insecure in the relationship. This exploration helps them express these feelings in a way that invites closeness and empathy from their partner.

Another key difference is how EFCT focuses on creating emotional responsiveness and more secure attachment bonds. Traditional couples therapy may view success as an overall decrease in conflict or an improvement in communication skills. EFT aims for a deeper emotional reconnection between partners, hopefully fostering a sense of safety, trust, and support. EFT therapists guide couples in recognizing their emotional needs helping to foster open and emotionally responsive interactions.

By focusing on emotional security and attachment, EFCT helps couples build a more resilient foundation. A foundation that can support healthier conflict resolution and intimacy over a lifetime.

Kinsey & Associates is Boston’s most trusted team of therapists. We specialize in in-person couples therapy in Boston, as well as all of Massachusetts via online therapy.